This weekend was one of my favorite weekends of the year. It was General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. (Don’t know much about Latter Day Saint or Mormons? Click here). It is like Christmas for my soul! I can’t describe the joy and love that I feel during those two days. Conference this year was October 4th and 5th. Jordan and I spent the weekend with our families watching and listening to the Prophet and Apostles of God speak. Throughout the conference each speaker and sermon had a message I felt was personally for me. A gift from God.
I prepared for the spiritual feast this weekend by pondering what concerns, questions, doubts, etc. that I have about life. I wrote all of my questions down in a notebook and then listened for God’s message for me. My questions ranged from becoming a mom in a few weeks, to being a better wife. When and where we want to go to graduate school, where we want to live long term, and more. Nothing was really pressing, there was no life or death decisions, no faith shaking doubts. I learned something though, God cares about the smallest details of our life. He cares about our little trivial concerns, the questions and yearnings of our heart. Somehow the most powerful being in the universe knows and loves me perfectly. That love is pure. It’s not the listening that happens in one ear while He’s busy in another room telling you he’s listening. It is not the listening that happens after you’ve heard the same story 100 times over. It’s not the listening that we need to say “now what did I just say God?”. His love is pure, and he really does listen to our prayers, even when we pray for the same desire, concern, or question day after day. He has promised that he will answer those prayers. My mom said He has three answers, Yes, No- I have something better, and Not yet. The scriptures are filled with examples of people who asked God and he answered them. They weren’t always answered when they wanted or how they wanted, but they were answered in the best way. He fulfilled His promises to them, and this weekend he fulfilled them to me, and I heard Him.
I wrote page after page of notes. 9 pages to be exact. I have arrows and pictures drawing my eye to the message that God had for me. I never got a black and white answer that said “in this many years you will move here”, or “go to this school”. His answers are better than that. He expects us to not wait and be handed our answers, rather to study it out for ourselves, believe he will answer them, and act in faith. So as I move forward in life, I know I will be guided, nudged, and sometimes poked and prodded to the right path. I will know how to be a great mother by the resources already given to me, I have a great mother and other women to look to as examples. I have the scriptures and words of prophets to study. I have prayer. I have great resources at my fingertips. God won’t write me a personal pamphlet on motherhood because he already has told me how. The same can go for being a better wife and the other questions in my heart. It is not God’s intention to leave us in darkness, rather to allow us to make decisions. I loved the idea shared by D. Todd Christofferson, about the man who wanted to do nothing for himself. Resorted to die, when offered corn to help him survive the man asks “is it husked?”, when told no, he says to continue on and let him die.
We each can receive answers from God. He won’t control us or force us. We can however be lead by Him. We can know for ourselves and follow his prophets. I know that God loves each of his children and wants each of us to return home to Him. Though His help we can. That is why he provided His son, Jesus Christ, to atone for each one of us. Throughout time He has provided prophets and apostles to lead His church and direct His children to Christ. That pattern continues today with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We believe that God did and continues to speak to His children today. You too can know that he will speak to you.