Today I’m feeling incredibly blessed and grateful. On my run this morning I was pondering on how blessed I am and how much joy I feel. I was reminded about two weeks ago when I felt so blessed and recorded it in my journal. Being a mom isn’t easy, but few things worth doing are. No one will give you a medal or anything. The reward comes with the ‘job’ itself. Whether you are a mom to littles, to teenagers, to grown children, to other people’s children we can all take a moment to reflect on the small moments that make it rewarding. After all if you don’t take a moment to enjoy this who will?
THE REWARD OF PARENTING
My life is an absolute dream. I am beyond blessed. My heart is full, every day is a blessing. I have not felt so much joy. I am truly living my dream. I see happiness in those baby blue eyes, in J’s proud smile, in rocking little W at bed time. I see happiness in the splashes at bathtime, the big gummy smiles, the discoveries being made. Yesterday and today have been especially wonderful. I decided to focus my time and energy on little W and J and doing the things that would help them. It brought so much reward. Nothing changed – I’ve still been thrown up on, peed on, wanted to stop the crying and screaming. There still wasn’t enough hours in the day, enough snuggles, enough time with J and it wasn’t EASY – but my attitude changed and that made all of the difference. Taking a moment to enjoy the journey has left projects un-done, homework still in process and sewing to be done, but I feel so happy, so loved, and more capable of loving.
I am grateful for the extra times I’ve had to get up at night, the extra time spent with W. The afternoons laying in the sunlight looking into those blue eyes. I can feel his spirit that is well aware of the love we have for him. Yesterday we were playing and W grabbed my face, dug his little fingers (and nails) into my cheeks and pulled my face in close, looked me in the eye and gurgled his spit at me. He may as well have said the words “I love you Mom”. I have never felt such love from a little person. This is the reward of being parents – the little gurgles of spit. Gurgles that bring tears to your eyes. Being a mom no one pats you on the back and says you’re doing a great job (except J does sometimes). It is in recognizing the little moments and small milestones that the reward comes. This is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. There isn’t time off, when I’m at my limit more is required. There are nights (and days) where all I want is sleep but I’m smiling at a little boy. This however is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I wouldn’t trade any job or accomplishment for being a mom and wife.Journal, March 6, 2015